It’s certainly been my experience as a Pediatrician that maternal depression highly correlates with infant irritability. A recent study published in Acta Paediatrica, “Infantile colic, prolonged crying and maternal postnatal depression” provides evidence supporting that association. To read this abstract, you can click here now.

I often wonder which comes first?

Does prolonged infant crying result in maternal postnatal depression? Could a mother’s low mood affect the temperament her baby? My view is that there is an interplay between the two. This research does conclude that “Both infantile colic and prolonged crying were associated with high maternal depression scores.” It is also true that depressed parents perceive their baby’s irritability more sensitively and intensively.

Correlation certainly does not mean causation, but in clinical practice I find that the best outcome is achieved by managing both the depression and the infant crying. Postnatal depression can be managed with:

• early recognition and diagnosis (even in the 21st century, postnatal depression may remain undiagnosed)
• practical and emotional support
• good nutrition, sleep, exercise and fresh air
• psychotherapy
• group meetings with other parents and a health professional expert
• antidepressant medication

Excessive infant irritability (crying for at least 3 hours a day, for at least 3 days a week and for at least 3 weeks) requires:

• a thorough health assessment by an infant nurse or doctor
• checking for an possible underlying physical disorder such as a urinary tract infection, inadequate nutritional intake and protein allergy
• using a variety of simple settling strategies such as SMS your baby (Sounds, Movement, Swaddling)

The good news is that both prolonged infant crying and postnatal depression are manageable. Both will improve with treatment, simple settling strategies and time.

PND and infant irritability are both common issues and remember:

• they are not your fault…you’ve done nothing wrong, and
• you are not alone.

I see hundreds of parents every year with young babies. Many of those parents are sleep deprived and exhausted. They look for rules in the attempt to find much needed sleep.

As health professionals we can give reassurance whether or not everything is okay in a health assessment. However, I am concerned that parents are being put under added pressure of UNDERSTANDING their baby’s cries and reading every conceivable publication to find the rules on what to do about it.

As a Paediatrician (and a dad of 4 who has been there!) I suggest parents trust their intuition more and expect less of the brain strain of processing a plethora of information. Don’t expect your head to translate responses that your instinct can do better. Follow your heart.

Sure, take in the interesting stuff presented in books, magazines and the media. If it strikes a chord within you, there is probably something relevant to you and your baby. It is good to identify and reflect, but not berate and feel pressed to absorb more. Experience and intuition will help you as much as all the information.

Seek guidance from a health care professional who you trust when you need to. Listen to guidance that is offered, but remember they are only guideposts. Nothing in parenting is concrete. Just when you think you have it worked out, something will change – baby’s illness; holidays; back to work; crises, both minor and major.

You will need to adjust and readjust your parenting barometer. To do this you need to trust your intuition. Yours…as a mother or father. You have known your baby 9 months longer than anyone else. Take a breath and feel confident in your understanding of what is right for you and your baby. But don’t flog yourselves with the imperatives, must-do’s and essential knowledge. You know your baby.

Parenting is an evolution from embryo to baby to child to adolescent and into adulthood. There are common threads of understanding and community norms, but no one rule or language. Trust your instinct during that evolution of physical, social, emotional, cultural needs. Trust that what feels right for you and your baby is the right way.

Intuition rules.

Good question!

Last blog on tired signs, Annabel asked how much sleep should she expect her 9 week old to have? While specific advice is not possible in this format, there are some guidelines which can help parents figure out the answer to this all important sleep-question for their baby.

As a general rule, the following can be expected for how much sleep a baby may need:

• A newborn baby, in the first 2-3 weeks, will generally require 16 – 20 hours per 24 hour period. Feeding and sleeping are more predictable at this early age, but after 2 – 3 weeks things usually get tougher.

• After 3 weeks parents often find their baby sleeps less (approximately 16 – 18 hours) and cries more.

• 6 weeks may see your baby sleep around 15 – 16 hours each day.

• By 4 months babies may sleep 5 – 10 hours plus 2 naps of 2 – 3 hours each.

• A baby of 6 – 7 months can sleep through without an overnight feed, giving you anywhere from 6 – 12 hours, plus morning (1 – 2 hours) and afternoon (1 – 2 hours) naps.

• By 9 months the average sleep can be 11 – 12 hours overnight plus 2 naps, and by 12 months babies may sleep 12 hours with 2 daytime naps that may be shortening.

As you spend more time with your baby, you will understand more about your baby’s individual sleep needs, tired signs and patterns. It is useful to establish a routine for regular settling and sleeping. A Sleep Chart can help to get this started. Free here.

Remember, a fussy baby is extremely common… and when you are awake in the middle of the night with your baby – at 3 weeks old, 9 months or 19 years old – you are not alone! 

While babies cannot talk, when it comes to their most important requirements – the need for food, comfort and lots of sleep - they can communicate very clearly!

Ask any parent and they will tell you their new baby was soon able to tell them what they needed and when! Even the very youngest of babies can communicate when they are tired and need to sleep. And, no, it’s not necessarily through crying.

Most babies give quite clear signs and signals that they are tired. For new parents, recognising your baby’s tired signs is an important skill that will help you get your baby off to sleep with little fussiness.

Common signs young babies are tired include:

·         Changing facial expressions – relaxed to grimacing

·         Frowning and looking unhappy

·         Looking away from you or staring into space

·         Rigid, Jerky or tense arm, hand and leg movements

·         Fists clenched

·         Rubbing eyes and ears

·         Yawning

·         Crying, fussing, being unsettled – this is a late cue! Sometimes too late…

Early tired signs may be subtle and easy to miss. Certainly not as obvious as being completed unsettled, fussing or crying, crying, crying! Watching your baby and understanding their tired signs will help you know when it is best (and easiest) to put them to bed.

For babies, being tired and needing sleep is not just about the length of time they have been awake, so the signals that your baby gives you are a helpful and reliable cue that sleep is near! Observe your baby, trust your own knowledge and read the signs your baby is giving you.

When your baby shows some, or all, of the tired signs listed, it is sleep time! Some babies settle best when put to sleep at the first sign of being tired (such as staring into space) while others will need to be a little more tired before they are ready for bedtime. Trust yourself that you will learn and know your baby’s tired signs best.

Both you and your baby will be pleased that when they have ‘spoken’ about their tiredness, you have listened!

Baby with colic? High needs baby, crying baby, unsettled baby? Fussy baby? How do I soothe my crying baby? Baby not sleeping, helping my baby sleep, sleep deprived parents…

I could go on, but really it does not matter. Regardless of what label you put on it, or how you shape the question, this issue is the same. A fussy, crying baby is extremely common and for parents, this is hard, hard, hard.

Infact, infant irritability (excessive crying, colic, being unsettled) and sleep problems (difficulty settling, will not sleep, short sleeps) are two of the most common issues for which parents seek advice from their health professional. Almost all babies will have unsettled behavior at some stage and this presents an exhausting challenge for parents. Even so called ‘good sleepers’ will have fussy times. It’s true that if you are a parent pacing the floor with a crying baby, you are definitely not alone!

So how can we help? What do parents of fussy babies need? As a Pediatrician and father of four children all of whom cried alot as babies, I believe parents need uplifting reassurance as well as expert information. When it comes to matters of unsettled babies, there is much to be said and a wealth of useful (and not so useful) information to be sought. In fact, sometimes there is too much information! Complicated, contradictory and judgmental information. And so I have set myself a challenge…

To blog as many issues to do with sleeping, crying and fussiness as I can think of! Simple, clear, credible and relevant blogs just for parents. Here’s my list so far (but please let me know what you want to know):

·         Crying and colic (the causes of crying; controlled crying; myths about fussiness; excessive crying; managing colic…)

·         Settling issues (settling and burping; safe sleeping)

·         Sleep solutions (using a dummy or pacifier; crying babies and medication; settling a baby with sound, white noise, lullabies; swaddling a fussy baby)

·         Baby sleep information (your baby’s tired signs; baby sleep patterns; sleeping through the night; how much sleep is needed?)

·         Help for tired parents (crying and parental guilt; reassurance; parents intuition)

How’s that for a start? Pretty good, I think! Parents of fussy babies, watch this space for Dr Harry’s Crying Baby Chronicles!

A quarter of a million babies born are each year in Australia and ten times that in America – that equates to a whole lot of new fathers every single day!

Happy, excited, scared, stunned, delirious and flustered fathers. First time dads, experienced dads, happy dads and depressed dads. Yes, fathers who are suffering from Depression following the birth of their babies. While there is ample evidence and research about Post Natal Depression in women, it seems we have understated the effect on fathers.

“The birth of his first child marks one of the most profound changes a man may undergo, transforming his standing in the community, his most intimate relationships and his identity. Yet he may come to the moment of his infant’s birth naïvely, unprepared for the speed of the changes taking place, and unaware of the range and depth of the demands he will face.” MJA, Addressing depression and anxiety among new fathers.

Becoming a parent is a very different experience for males and females. Pregnancy and birth necessarily focuses on women. It is after all, a physical reality. No escaping a pregnant belly. But what about the dads? A father’s role and its impact can be misunderstood, understated or neglected. We know that having a baby is one of the most blissful and stressful events in a relationship. It’s also fair to say that many men enter fatherhood are unprepared for the lifestyle changes that the bundle of joy will bring. We don’t read the manual for the DVD player, so how many new dads will we find propped up in bed reading What to Expect when you are Expecting? Did you? Even as a Pediatrician, I left much of that emotional preparation up to my wife.

Unfortunately ignorance is not bliss in the case of parenting. Difficulties after the birth of a crying baby hit men too. It is believed that in half of the cases where a mother is suffering PND, the father is depressed too. But where is the research? Why are we not talking about this?

A review of the literature over the last two years has shown that there is very little new research on the effect of parenthood on fathers. The frequency and severity of impact on fathers and post natal depression in fathers is currently under-rated and undiagnosed. It’s time we heard from the dads.

Please take our 10 question, 3 minute survey and tell me about how it was for you. It won’t be anywhere near as difficult as changing that first nappy or diaper, and the evidence gathered will be much more useful! Go, do it now. Let’s help put the attention on fathers.

“Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad”

(Author Unknown)